Until my pre-teen years I was very connected to the inner world. I lived in the world of imagination and possibility. I trusted the guidance of the inner world. The inner world raised me up when I felt powerless in my outer world. Then when I went through puberty it all changed — fear took the driver’s seat of my life and the messages that were reflected by my outer world became my guidance system and my truth.

Up until I was 23, I held the belief that I didn’t need support or guidance because it was up to me to figure life out on my own. What I was actually saying was that I wasn’t worthy of guidance.

Despite having a powerful experience at 23 that reconnected me to the guidance of the inner world that I had once trusted, my ego idenity was strong and I was still deeply entrenched in the it’s-up-to-me story. By the time I was 29, all I had proven was that I couldn’t figure it all out on my own. I had no clue what was right for me because I couldn’t see beyond my stories of who I thought I was. I kept changing my physical circumstances, thinking I was so smart and had learned so much, however, I was simply continuing to create the same experiences with the same limitations. Other than my physical surroundings being different and me becoming more frustrated with myself, everything else remained the same. I then went through a period of believing that if I just found the right book I could fix myself and my life. Hundreds of books later I had expanded my knowledge and had become a brilliant philosopher, however, I couldn’t figure out how to apply that knowledge to my own life.

I could talk about love at great length and my mind grasped the scientification of love beautifully, but my heart center remained imprisoned.

During this time, my daughter was a pre-teen and I shared with her the knowledge I was gleaning from my mountains of books. We shared amazing conversations and she internalized much of what I shared. I witnessed her beliefs being shaped and she began creating experiences for herself that were serving her growth and expansion. Later, I facilitated a youth leadership program over a five-year period and I observed the same thing happen with the teens in that group. The changes in their lives were phenomenal. Why was this working for my daughter and the teens that I worked with, while I seemed to be moving at a snail’s pace in making changes in my own life? Then one day I realized it was because I was guiding them. They were not doing this on their own. They were allowing themselves to be supported to grow and expand. They were showing me the power of guidance — it was time for me to seek my own guides.

My journey has consisted of climbing high mountains and experiencing deep valleys with a many obstacles to embrace. Fear was one of my primary obstacles but with the support of my guides I learned to embrace fear and hear its message and move through it. Often my determined ego would get in the way of the guidance and my guides, being the perfect match to my needs, would challenge me to transcend my ego and hold me accountable to my truth. In time, I surrendered my ego into the light and learned to get out of my own way, a practice that still serves me well when my ego rises.

My guides had all walked a path similar to mine. They knew the path well as they had guided many on a similar path.

They knew the obstacles, and the courage it would take to embrace them and move through them. They shone the light for me to see possibilities that I had not seen before. They helped me to see more clearly and make choices from that clarity. As my clarity expanded, the guidance became more focused. It was during this time that my long-time interest in archetypes and story evolved to a new level. Story had always played a significant part in my life but making the connection between archetypal patterns and story opened a door into a new realm of story exploration, which in turn accelerated my healing. I was transcending layer upon layer of intergenerational stories at a rapid rate. I was seeing big life changes and I just wanted to keep going.

My guides never told me what to do. Instead they made suggestions and extended invitations but I needed to love myself enough to listen and take action.

At present my guides hold the space of wholeness for me and it is my responsibility to align with it and stay in alignment. When I falter or fall, they support me to rise and continue the journey. I am becoming a master of rising and no longer fear falling. The more I fall and rise, the more my clarity expands and the more healing occurs.

Your level of clarity around who you think you are and who you desire to become will attract your guide. Your guide will support you to close that gap. With that knowledge, I suggest that you establish, as clearly as you can, the kind of guidance you are seeking and how you desire to be supported by your guide.

I invite you to consider these questions carefully when choosing your guide:

1. Has this guide walked the path of healing their own story and are they far enough ahead of me on this journey to guide me effectively?

2. Do I feel safe with this guide?

3. Do they accept me where I am right now on my healing journey with no judgement?

4. Do they respect my need to move at my own pace and can they acknowledge that my fears are very real to me?

5. Do they see my wholeness and not just the story of who I think I am?

6. Do they believe in possibility, magic and the enchantment of the inner world?

7. Are they humble and yet strong enough to hold me accountable to my truth and help me face my deepest fears?

8. Are they accountable to their truth and do they live it?

Choosing a Guide That is Right for You

Up until I was 23, I held the belief that I didn’t need support or guidance because it was up to me to figure life out on my own. What I was actually saying was that I wasn’t worthy of guidance.

I could talk about love at great length and my mind grasped the scientification of love beautifully, but my heart center remained imprisoned.

My guides had all walked a path similar to mine. They knew the path well as they had guided many on a similar path.

My guides never told me what to do. Instead they made suggestions and extended invitations but I needed to love myself enough to listen and take action.