What Is Wrong With You Katharina

“What is wrong with you Katharina? 

You are usually so organized, prepared and 

have everything timed perfectly. 

What is wrong with you today?”

The harsh judgmental words 

crashed against my energy field,

like ocean waves pounding a stony beach.

I was transported back through time.

I could see my inner child.

She was on her knees, 

begging, pleading with the dark figure that 

loomed over her with the leather belt brandished high.

“Mommy, please don’t hit me. 

I know you think I am a bad girl.

I try really hard to be good for you. 

I know you only love good girls.

It is okay if you don’t love me. 

Please don’t hit me.”

Words, the only way to express herself,

falling on deaf ears

while trying to awaken a heart 

locked in a steel vault.

The hand moves.

My child sucks in a deep breath as the leather belt 

strikes her flesh with a resounding crack.

As the pain rips through her body,

she clenches her teeth to hold back 

the primal blood curdling wails 

that desperately call to be expressed.

She holds them in her body,

knowing that if she gives into their need 

it will bring more pain.

My Crone reaches down 

to my inner child,

who lies writhing in pain.

She draws her close, 

holding her heart to heart.

Her love, like sacred elixir, 

pours over my child’s wounds.

My Crone’s words penetrate

my heart and soul.

There is nothing wrong with you Katharina.

You are a beautiful, sensitive being.

Your heart is overflowing with love.

You feel and see what those around you can’t.

For you the veil is very thin,

allowing you to feel connected to all life.

You feel the collective pain passed down 

through the generations 

over thousands of years.

It was never your pain 

alone to carry my child.

You are a healer. 

This is why you are here.

Remember my child, 

you are not of the Earth.

Your home is among the stars.

Deep within, you know Cosmic love. 

You have experienced it.

Your task, my child, is to remember it. 

Allow it to expand your human heart 

beyond its human capacity.

Become the Cosmic mystical heart, my child.

Pull back the remaining layer of the illusion, 

revealing the Cosmic love, 

healing all the wounds of separation.

My wise Crone.

Her gentle loving hands 

either side of my inner child’s head.

My child’s brown curls 

spilling over her wrinkled hands

as she softly croons,

remember my child, 

remember who you are.

Katharina Reed (December 2021)