Weaving a Story Web of Love and Joy
Spider weaves a web of fate for those unsuspecting creatures that get caught and become her nourishment. Humans also get caught in a web of fate. This web is called illusion, a web of story that has been handed down through the generations and continues to be nourished by all the egoic thoughts that get trapped in it.
This web of fate is one of polarity. For example, good or evil, worthy or not worthy, enough or not enough, abundance or lack, powerful or powerless, winner or loser, freedom or limitation, love or fear. In the Patriarch, you are either one or the other, so life becomes a constant fight to be the one you desire to be. When trapped in this web of fate, the story is one of survival and this story is nourished by fear. In this state, you lose connection with your deep inner knowing — your soul truth and you lose sight of opportunities and possibilities that have the potential to free you from your web of fate. Releasing attachment to your story will allow you to see beyond the limitation and align with possibility.
I invite you to imagine with me. I can hear you saying, but Katharina, I can’t, I don’t have an imagination. And I will say, I hear you! You may not know you have an imagination but you use it every day to imagine your story of who you think you are. You are the author of your story. It may have had other authors in the beginning — authors of past generations — but you have taken over the authorship and are adding your own ideas to it now. You may be an unconscious author; however, you are an author with a vivid imagination. Look at your life. This is your creation! This is your web that you have spun. I know, it may be hard to believe and painful to look at if you don’t like your creation. It was painful for me to look at my life and be accountable for the web of story I had woven. To own that I was not a victim of the story, but the creator of the story has been the most challenging part of my journey. I had given my power to the story. The story had not taken my power. I was allowing it to live out through me and I was continuing to nourish it with my imagination.
Now that you know you have an imagination, let us take an imaginary journey. You have created a web, similar to the one pictured above, and it has been created from the “I am not enough” story. Just as the spider waits for unsuspecting insects to get caught in her web to nourish her, you are waiting for certain key things — recognition; approval; acknowledgment of being seen and/or being heard; the need to know you have value, that you are needed, you are worthy, you are loved, etc. — to get ‘caught’ in your web so you can feel nourished. Like the spider, you have an appetite to satisfy and you need lots of nourishment in your web to keep your story about not being enough alive. Like the spider, you tend the web to make sure your story will be nourished. Your story is what you believe to be true about you and you tend to it diligently.
Now, let us imagine that you have tended this web for a number of years but you are now exhausted. You still don’t feel enough, despite all that you have done to prove your worth. Everything in your life feels hard. You realize you only have fleeting moments of happiness. You may feel like you are dragging yourself through the days and if a friend shows concern, you may launch into a diatribe of how hard life is, and how no matter what you do and how hard you try, it doesn’t change. There may even be tears and a feeling of hopelessness or powerlessness. One evening in a state of exhaustion, you are scrolling through your social media feed and you see a post where someone asked the questions: What if you knew you were enough? How would your life change if you knew you didn’t have to prove your worth? What if you knew you could spin a story web rooted in self- love?
Those questions get caught in your web. They land with such an impact that they destroy some of the threads in your story web. The questions won’t leave your mind. You find yourself no longer focused on getting approval, instead you are thinking about what it would feel like to be enough, not needing approval and not needing to be validated. You are thinking about what it would feel like to be worthy and to not have to try so hard to prove your worth. Your imagination has shifted now in a new direction and you are on the journey of self-love. Eventually as you release attachment to your stories of who you think you are, your web is in tatters however, you now have the opportunity to weave a new one. It will be a story web of self-love and your web will attract nourishment for your new story and you will love yourself into living an empowered life!
You may be wondering if this is possible for you. Yes, it is possible but you have to feel worthy of this new story web and love yourself enough to take the next step. I chose to walk this path with guides. From the inner exploration I had already done, I knew that I had to deepen my self-awareness, gain confidence in and learn to trust myself to traverse this unknown path. My guides lit the way for me to see my next steps until I could find my way. In my experience, it is a journey that requires grace and grit as I was liberating myself from thousands of years of patriarchal conditioning.
Now that you know it is possible and we have imagined together, I invite you to envision what your life would look like if you loved yourself. What would it feel like to live in a state of joy? What if your happiness was not dependent on what unfolds in your environment? How would you walk? How would you talk? How would you engage with your friends? How would you engage with your family? How would you express your love of self into the world?
If you are ready to release attachment to the story of who you think you are and desire to Birth Your True Self, you will find me here, guiding women they weave their story webs love and joy and to express life in ways they never before felt worthy of living. Perhaps you will even get caught in the web of joy that expresses through my essence, as I witness the women I guide, living their soul truth.