Stop Look and Listen
If you knew that your power was not being taken from you, but that you were in fact giving it to someone or something, would you stop?
This is a big life question that requires you to stop, look and listen to discern the answer that will support you to stop giving your power away. When you were a child and were taught to stop, look and listen before you crossed the street, every time you chose to act on those directives, you were in your power. You had the power of choice. When you stop, there is power in the pause. When you look, you become aware; there is power in awareness. When you listen deeply for the answer to this question, there is power in listening. These three actions open the door to go deeper into your unconscious stories and to take your power back from them.
When addressing a big life question like the one above, the first thoughts are often thoughts of denial. That is crazy. Who would give their power away? Not me. I would never do that. I see my mother and grandmother give their power away, but not me— I am not like them. The next thoughts are usually connected to a story. Perhaps it’s a story that you feel powerless to change. For example, there is not enough time or money. The next part of the thought process is to create a story to why that is true for you. For example, your needs are not being met because of the lack of money or time or both. You feel powerless to help yourself. Perhaps the amount of monetary inflow into your life is determined by someone else. Your time is not your own. You work full time, perhaps you have your own business or perhaps you have children, perhaps you have relationships that take time or a myriad of other things you feel responsible for. Choice is power so when you feel you don’t have choice, you feel powerless.
Powerlessness may feel like you are stuck on a Ferris wheel: life is happening to you and you feel powerless to stop the wheel.
The way to stop the wheel is to become conscious — aware of what or who you are giving your power to. Your relationship with power has been learned. The patriarchal story is that you have to prove your value, your usefulness and your worthiness of having power. Once you have proven these things, then someone determines how much power you will be given. In other words, you have to earn your power, and as a result many women feel powerless in certain areas of their lives. Equality is not supported by the patriarchal mythology. It is a mythology of hierarchy. Women have spent hundreds of years trying to change the patriarchal story to be able to live in equality at immense cost to themselves and often their children.
My experience of walking the path of taking my power back has taught me that you can liberate yourself from the story, live an empowered life and experience equality; however, you cannot change the patriarchal mythology. Patriarchal stories that define women were, and still are, intended to keep you powerless. For example, one patriarchal belief is that only the weak need to be supported. You know you are not weak, and therefore you don’t need support – to prove this you feel the need to be Superwoman and do everything yourself, and when the going gets tough, you pull up your boot straps and carry on. Then one day, you realize that the need to be Superwoman is not actually a necessity, but instead an intergenerational story that you have watched your mother and grandmother live out, and you begin to question what the story is creating. You can see that your life would be much easier with support. The truth in the story is that you are not weak, but ironically, living out the story of Superwoman weakens you. Humans are an interdependent species so denying yourself from support when you need it, limits you from being in your power — from being your best. When you unstick yourself from that story and the belief connected to it, you take your power back. The story is still there in the energy field but you are no longer giving your power to it. You no longer believe it to be true. You live a new story that allows you to have the support that you need, and you flourish. That is empowerment!
my experience is that transcending your patriarchal stories frees you, and at the same time supports all women to be empowered. The key is to stop, look and listen so you can become aware of where and how you are giving your power to unconscious patriarchal stories.
When you liberate yourself from the stories, you are no longer a participant in the system that disempowers you — you are no longer impeded from experiencing equality. You are not powerless. You are not a victim. Life is no longer happening to you. You have stopped the wheel and stepped off. You are conscious and you now have choice. Choice is power.
How do you envision yourself living an empowered life and experiencing equality?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
How would you walk?
What language would you use to express yourself?
How would you engage in your relationships with yourself and others?
I envision women rising together — liberating each other while creating a new story for all humanity, rooted in empowerment.
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