Stepping Out of Your Story into Creation Part One
Life is in a constant state of creation. As part of life, each of us is also in a constant state of creation. You may be asking yourself, “If this is true, what am I creating?” You are creating your life—your masterpiece. Perhaps you can take your inquiry one step further and ask, “What am I creating this master piece from, truth or fiction? “
Mother Nature’s Masterpiece
Have you ever had an experience of where someone has made a comment or passed judgement and you have reacted? Their words evoked an emotion, and perhaps a painful memory surfaced where you had experienced the same feeling. When you have this experience, there is a story that is being challenged. There has been a reaction, an irritation and it is not a comfortable feeling. A common human behavior is to blame the other person for the emotional pain experienced. If only they hadn’t said that or if they hadn’t done that, the pain would not have been experienced. This is an act of creation and it then becomes part of the masterpiece of your life. Perhaps you have had an experience where you have had a conversation with someone and experienced a very deep connection and you leave the conversation feeling empowered, validated, valued and it feels so good that you are high on life. When this is experienced, your story of who you think you are is being supported. This as well, is an act of creation and becomes part of your masterpiece.
Every interaction you have becomes part of your masterpiece. You have a choice to be the conscious creator of your masterpiece when you are free from your story/stories of who you think you are.
One of the best places to become aware of stories and their patterns is within family. Family relationships challenge you and all of us to become aware of intergenerational stories and their patterns. It is often easier to see a pattern in another than it is to see it in ourselves. In my family one of the most powerful intergenerational stories that was passed down was that being born a female meant you were a liability. There was a debt to pay. In this intergenerational story, the debt could never be paid off; the women in my family could never prove their value because the story was if you were a female you didn’t have value. This story is not just my intergenerational story, it is being lived out by millions of women around the world. What happens in the micro happens in the macro. As this story was lived out through the generations of my family, the pain became greater and greater. The wounds grew and festered. Being the youngest in the family, I not only carried the burden of the accumulated intergenerational pain but I carried the pain for my family as well. I had no idea I was expressing the pattern of the empath, nor did I know how destructive that pattern could be. I just felt pain and lots of it.
For myself, the emotional pain became extremely overwhelming and in my early 20s I believed death was the only way out of that pain.
Making the choice to end my life brought such a tremendous relief from the pain. I remember the calm—the sense of peace that was so comforting. There was no pain. I felt free. In that space of calm, I experienced what I believe to have been a mystical experience. I was shown the outcomes of two futures. It was very clear that I could choose either path. I was shown that choosing life had the potential to heal my pain and break the story pattern for my daughter and for future generations. It was very clear that it began with me and my first step was to choose life. By making this choice I could choose to be the kind of mother that I had never had. To do that, I had to heal the intergenerational story I believed about myself. I was assured that I would be guided every step of the way. At that time, I couldn’t comprehend the concept of guidance. My life had been about survival and in my way of thinking that meant I had to figure it out. I needed to be in control as that was how I felt safe. That period of my life was dark and tumultuous. I can see now, how in my trying to figure it out on my own, I created pain and suffering for myself, thinking I was on the path of healing. Unbeknownst to me, as I thought I was so aware, the story of being a liability was still in the driver’s seat of my life. It took me a number of years and the painful experience of an abundance of self-directed blame and frustration to grasp the concept of guidance. Once I grasped the concept, I then had to value myself enough to say yes to guidance. Once I fully embraced having guides—their unconditional counsel and knowing that they were committed to serving my highest good—my healing journey began unfolding rapidly, and it continues to do so today.
When people tell me that liberating themselves from a story is challenging, I can relate. I know first-hand how challenging it can be.
The journey you undertake is the Heroine’s journey and it is fraught with challenges. The unknown was a very frightening place for me, so when the word ‘challenge’ was reframed to express ‘that which is experienced when one slips out of the known into the unknown’, I wasn’t sure I was ready to truly meet the challenges presented to me. However, my guides repeatedly showed up in my dream world to support me in moving through my fears. I felt safe in my dream world and when I felt safe I could move through the fear easily. I trusted that I could do the same in my life. I did and still do. I can still feel the empowerment of saying, “Thank you, I’ve got this now.”