Many women seek conscious relationship but are actually living out the patterns of patriarchal marriage.

I can hear you saying, “Not me. That was my parents and my grandparents.”

Patriarchal patterns are deeply engrained in us. They are part of our culture. They have been passed down through intergenerational stories or perhaps we witnessed it as children and it is seen as normal behavior. We have been conditioned into them and we express them unconsciously.

Common patriarchal marriage patterns are: the need to be safe, need to make everything okay for your partner, the fear of the unknown, the need to figure it all out, to get it right, happiness is dependent on environment, seek approval and recognition, need for control and a scarcity mindset (not enough time, love etc).

Emotions often experienced in a patriarchal marriage are: self-pity, conditional love, insecurity, judgement, expectation, shame, guilt, sadness, not enough, fear and resentment.

In a conscious relationship both individuals are mature. They are accountable for their thoughts, attitudes and actions. They have integrity and take ownership of what they say and do. They give their word and they keep it. They make decisions confidently, and have a set of values to guide their decision-making process. When decisions need to be made jointly it is helpful for both partners to understand each other’s values. Consistency builds trust in the relationship. Strength of character is developed from being conscious, living your values and having the courage to live your truth. You raise each other up so you both are being your best. Both fully engaged in a life serving expansion and grow.

Patterns commonly expressed in a conscious relationship are: know your truth and stand in it, the relationship serves the whole, empowered to make changes needed to serve the highest good of you and your family, openness, parity, equanimity, having choice and abundance.

Emotions often experienced in a conscious relationship are: freedom, joy, unconditional love, inspiration, creativity, wholeness, connection, security and, gratitude.

A high percentage of women live with one foot in patriarchal marriage and one foot in conscious relationship. That way of engaging depletes energy and creates limitation.

Are you ready to step with both feet into a conscious relationship? Are you ready to be energized and free to create a new way of living?

Resources:

“Patriarchy Stress Disorder” Valerie Rein

“All the Rage. Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership” Darcy Lockman

Patriarchal Marriage vs Conscious Relationship