Liberation from Self Imprisonment

I have had the experience of being imprisoned, not in a physical prison cell but in one of my own construction — a cell that was dark, with thick iron bars, no window and a gazillion locks on the cell door. My inner child was a waif, huddled in the corner, neglected and unloved. We were both starving for love, and I, as the adult, would prostitute, sabotage and victimize myself for a mere morsel to be tossed my way.

I had a cover story of how I wanted to be seen by others. Every choice and every action I took was through the lens of how I wanted to be seen by them. The story under that cover story was how I saw myself. I believed I was nobody of any value or worth and at the same time desperate to be seen as somebody of value and worthy of love. To compensate, I put myself on a pedestal, making myself somebody and doing my best to live it at great cost. It cost me my freedom. One of my top values is integrity. I am a truth-seeker and I was living completely out of alignment with my truth. This created the prison cell that my inner child was banished to. I saw her as the nobody of value and believed she was the problem.

Both stories were ego-driven and pure illusion. I resisted the story of not having value as I didn’t want it to be true. I focused my attention on the cover story thus creating and living an illusionary life. Living the illusion created experiences that invariably supported the story of being nobody of value. That is how the universal law of attraction works. My thought of being a somebody and having value would go out, but my belief and the feeling generated by that story of being nobody of value was the magnet that attracted experiences to me that aligned with how I truly felt about myself. As my resistance to being nobody grew, so did my desire to prove I was somebody. I was in a self-destructive cycle.

With guidance, I liberated myself, and the process that I was guided by was the universal birth, life, death, birth cycle that governs all life. The six-step process I use to guide women in birthing their true selves is rooted in that universal process. Because it is a universal process, it can be adapted to serve each woman I serve. The process allows women to cross the bridge that spans the gap between the ego story that she believes to be her identity and her soul truth.

My experience in life has been that when we take the first step, the way appears. That truth has expressed itself in a myriad of ways in my life. Several years ago, I was in India with my daughter. I wanted to climb up a long set of steps to a temple. Sandals were to be left at the bottom of the stairs. I stood there, barefoot, with hundreds of people streaming down the stairs, and my daughter was watching me. I was petrified to even attempt to go up the stairs. I had visions of being trampled to death. After a few moments, she told me to place my foot on the bottom step. My body was immobilized by fear. I could hear my daughter saying, “Trust me Mom, just put your foot on the bottom step.” She had said the key word. I did trust her and I knew she would never tell me to do anything that would bring me harm. I took a deep breath and placed my foot on the bottom step, and to my surprise, a space appeared on the next step. I placed my foot in the space and another space appeared on the next step and a way opened all the way to the temple. I was in awe. What a metaphor for being in process. One step at a time and the way becomes clear. The key is to take the first step.

If we take that step and find it is not our path then we have the power to choose to step off of it. In my years of inner exploration, I have made that choice many times. It is empowering when you know what is in alignment with your truth and what isn’t.

If you would like to learn more about the Birth Your True Self process, I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free copy of my ebook, Birth Your True Self: Weaving a Story Web of Love and Joy.

Here is what one person had to say…

“I finally got a chance to read your e-book over the weekend.  Wow!  It’s really beautiful; powerfully written.  I can sense your knowing reverberating through your words. I loved the parts where you told your own story and the stories of the people you’ve worked with’. JH