Being Unstuck Versus Unsticking Self

In my years of working with story, I have observed that many women want to be unstuck(liberated) from their ‘not enough’ story versus going through the process of unsticking (liberating) themselves from their story. They think that if their story were to magically disappear and they could just know that they were enough, all would be well. Many want a quick fix. They want it to be easy and painless. As wonderful as a magical disappearance of story may sound, it may not serve them as well as they think.

The ‘not enough’ story is an intergenerational story that has been lived out for thousands of years. It is the core story of the patriarch into which you have been unconsciously indoctrinated. Every thread woven through the fabric of your being is an expression of this story. In other words, you have been programed to live this story.

The truth is that you may not know who you are outside of that story. You may get glimpses but they are short-lived as the unconscious conditioning is a powerful force and you are pulled back into the intergenerational programing. Neuroscience demonstrates that by the time you are thirty-five years old you are unconsciously making choices from this old programing 95% of the time. That leaves 5% of your mind to be consciously aware of this story and to make conscious choices knowing that you are enough.

Let’s say that your story was instantly removed from you. You would be in the unknown. The world around you would not be the same world you knew and you would not know how to engage with it. Since you did not go through a transition — a step-by-step process to prepare yourself to be in this new story — it may feel like you were deposited into another world. Think of a baby that is crawling or scooting to get to where it wants to go. If one morning they woke up and they could run, they would most likely lack the confidence in their ability to move at that speed. They wouldn’t have taken the steps in the process to gain the strength and confidence in themselves and their body, to be able to comfortably navigate their new world. I have observed many babies learning to walk. It takes practice for them to gain strength and to be confident. I find it beautiful to watch their face light up when they master their walking skill step by step. It is empowering. No one can do it for them. They need to go through the process, literally step by step and usually with many stumbles and falls. When they are ready to run, it comes easily as it is naturally the next step in the process. They are prepared. Just as a baby goes through a process to learn to run, there is a six-step process to liberate yourself from your story, to remember your true self — your soul truth, and it takes practice.

In this process of liberating yourself, you are guided step by step to expand beyond your intergenerational story of ‘not enough’. As you work through this process, you gradually remember that you are enough. In time, you will no longer identify with your old story. You liberate yourself, and this is self-empowerment. For many, the process involves experiencing a range of emotions as the threads unravel and the truth is revealed. Quite often when women reflect back on the process, they are in awe of where they are at the end as compared to where they began. The byproduct of the process is the healing of story for self, for the ancestors and the future generations as well. 

Knowing you are enough is a Soul knowing. It is not learned — it is a remembering. Through the separation generated by the patriarchy, you forgot that you are enough. Ego either talks about not being enough or aggrandizes itself by talking profusely about being enough and often expresses superiority. The Soul expresses being enough by living it. When you are in alignment with your Soul knowing, it radiates from the inside out; every thread woven through the fabric of your being is an expression of this knowing. 

How do you know if you are living the story of ‘not enough’?

The quickest way is to become aware of your language. Your language expresses what lies in your unconscious. For example, “If I only had ____I would be ____.”  or “I need ____ to have ____.” I encourage you to take a sheet of paper and fill in the blanks in these statements until you can’t think of any more. Set the paper aside and your mind will continue the process for you.  

Another way is to become aware of your thoughts and your feelings. If there is a feeling of lack then there is a story of not enough expressing through you. I encourage you to journal your thoughts and feelings that come up. As above, once you start, your mind will continue for you. If you are unconsciously living the story of not enough, you will see a pattern of lack surfacing in your thoughts and feelings.